I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
