erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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