Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize