last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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