Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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