How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
