Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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