I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
