i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
