i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize