My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
