There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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