The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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