Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
