at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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