Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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