How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
