Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
