im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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