Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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