i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
