The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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