My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
