I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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