I want to have your abortion
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
