I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
