i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
