Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
