Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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