So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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