I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
