Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
