I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
