god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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