ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
