I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
