Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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