it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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