Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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