Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
