Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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