He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
