There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
