Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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