No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
