suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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