I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
