so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
