I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
