Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
