Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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