She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
