I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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