We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
