Too much gin, very little bucket
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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