Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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