and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
