nut hugger
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
