i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize