i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
