Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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