I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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